I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
