How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
