Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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