is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
