The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Threesome in a minivan. New low
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
