I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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