Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
