Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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