Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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