He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
