their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
