I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
