Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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