I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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