forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize