Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
