so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
