Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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