Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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