We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
