He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
