are you so shy because you have an std?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
