Fuck appropriateness.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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