Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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