It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
