It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
