we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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