People in love make me want to vomit
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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