I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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