I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
