Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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