i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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