girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
