Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
