I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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