Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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