Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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