I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
