No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
