She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
