i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
