hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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