I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My life is pants optional.
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