i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
