ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think a kid would responsible me up
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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