Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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