and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
