I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
