Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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