wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
How naked do you want me to be?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
