This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
