Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just had sex on a roof
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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