drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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