I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you had me at cake vodka
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
