At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
