can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This baby is an asshole
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
