in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
