just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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