saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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