PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
