Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
