found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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