I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
