I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
